my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize