Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
They took my balls.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
