Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
