And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize