Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
