yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
even my farts smell like vagina
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
