I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
