highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
