let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Randomize
