I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
