Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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