you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
