and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
