Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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