She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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