You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
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Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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