He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
