just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
