Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
either way he was missing a nipple.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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