My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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