I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
