everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
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OPIZZABONMYDICK
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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