I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
