You work out of a Hotel?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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