singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
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We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
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Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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