I can text with my tongue
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
