Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
