Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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