i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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