He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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