I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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