Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
