Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize