I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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