Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
