Pappa wants mamma naked
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize