Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
