she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
