mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
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She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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