Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
