You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
