is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize