Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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