my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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