ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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