Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I need a beard to bite.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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