k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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