she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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