I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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