I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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