he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
