Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
