sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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