who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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