: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
