I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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