Betty ford says i'm here all night
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think people are normalizing furries
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
