I just made out with a guy for $7.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
