So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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