So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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